Monday, September 11, 2006
Art!
Old friends
You know the ones I'm talking about. Not the old friends who you're thrilled to run into and can generally sit there chatting with for hours, but the old friends who a pretty much an obligation. They've become that bitter old aunt who if you don't call them or visit them frequently enough they guilt you when you do. And not in a teasing, flippant way where they're not really trying to make you feel guilty. The kind of way that just ends up pissing you off because they're really a tactless, hypocritical, judgemental bitch who has no idea what you've been dealing with over the last year of your life, because if you were to actually open up to them about OCD they'd probably- you guessed it- be judgemental, call you a hypochondriac, and in general- you guessed it again- be a bitch about it.
In case you hadn't noticed, I just had the most pleasant conversation with one of these so-called friends.
It went like this:
Me: Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been able to come up since you told me about you and your boyfriend, I feel really awful about it, but the fact of the matter is that I'm driving a crappy rental car right now so I'm worried about taking it too far since I have to pay for kilometers on top of gas. And you moved to the other side of the city. But that's not the point- I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to get up there, I hope you can forgive me.
Hypocritical, judgemental, Bitch-face replies: Well it always seems like you have no time for anyone or anything but Dave.
Me: Well I know it seems like that, but....
H: Well I have to go because I have a friend over, but you can call me later.
Hands up, the people who think I'm actually gonna call this witch any time soon? Do you know what she said to me when I asked her how she was doing when she broke up with him? "I feel like I have Satan inside me, and he's ripping up my insides with sharp, rusty nails." What the fuck are you supposed to say to that? "Um...that really sucks..." Most people just say "It really hurts." That's a little more believable. I'm questioning her judgement as far as actually breaking up with the guy goes, if it hurts that much, but if it really hurts that much she wouldn't be out clubbing every night.
Here's what I should have said instead of being completely dumbfounded:
Me: Listen, bitch, you were dating that guy for four years and I can count on one hand the amount of times you hung out with me alone. It was always us hanging out with him (translation: me getting to join you guys on a date. Awkward for me AND him) or your high school friends, most of whom I don't know, but when I'd invite you out with my friends you'd say..."Um...I don't really know them...why don't you give me a call when we can just hang out you and me."
You know what? FUCK THAT SHIT. I've been to hell and back over the last year, and when I'd call her the conversation would always steer towards how awful her life was. How her mom was pressuring her, how she was interested in a guy other than her boyfriend who turned out to be married, how difficult all these problems are to deal with! She has no idea what problems are, what fears are, what anxieties are! Why? Because every time I tried to talk to her about it, she'd just start talking about herself again.
This was the end of the conversation:
H: And then you wonder why you're not the first person I call when I have problems.
Excuse me? Ex-FUCKING-cuse me? Cause I call you for anything? Whenever she calls me, I listen and comfort. Try to give her advice. Try not to be judgemental. Too bad no one told her that friendship was a two-way street.
Ok, off my chest. And release.
In case you hadn't noticed, I just had the most pleasant conversation with one of these so-called friends.
It went like this:
Me: Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been able to come up since you told me about you and your boyfriend, I feel really awful about it, but the fact of the matter is that I'm driving a crappy rental car right now so I'm worried about taking it too far since I have to pay for kilometers on top of gas. And you moved to the other side of the city. But that's not the point- I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to get up there, I hope you can forgive me.
Hypocritical, judgemental, Bitch-face replies: Well it always seems like you have no time for anyone or anything but Dave.
Me: Well I know it seems like that, but....
H: Well I have to go because I have a friend over, but you can call me later.
Hands up, the people who think I'm actually gonna call this witch any time soon? Do you know what she said to me when I asked her how she was doing when she broke up with him? "I feel like I have Satan inside me, and he's ripping up my insides with sharp, rusty nails." What the fuck are you supposed to say to that? "Um...that really sucks..." Most people just say "It really hurts." That's a little more believable. I'm questioning her judgement as far as actually breaking up with the guy goes, if it hurts that much, but if it really hurts that much she wouldn't be out clubbing every night.
Here's what I should have said instead of being completely dumbfounded:
Me: Listen, bitch, you were dating that guy for four years and I can count on one hand the amount of times you hung out with me alone. It was always us hanging out with him (translation: me getting to join you guys on a date. Awkward for me AND him) or your high school friends, most of whom I don't know, but when I'd invite you out with my friends you'd say..."Um...I don't really know them...why don't you give me a call when we can just hang out you and me."
You know what? FUCK THAT SHIT. I've been to hell and back over the last year, and when I'd call her the conversation would always steer towards how awful her life was. How her mom was pressuring her, how she was interested in a guy other than her boyfriend who turned out to be married, how difficult all these problems are to deal with! She has no idea what problems are, what fears are, what anxieties are! Why? Because every time I tried to talk to her about it, she'd just start talking about herself again.
This was the end of the conversation:
H: And then you wonder why you're not the first person I call when I have problems.
Excuse me? Ex-FUCKING-cuse me? Cause I call you for anything? Whenever she calls me, I listen and comfort. Try to give her advice. Try not to be judgemental. Too bad no one told her that friendship was a two-way street.
Ok, off my chest. And release.
